Wisdom for Your Marriage

Love is such a crazy feeling. You feel like dying when you are apart. You look longingly towards your wedding day when the two of you can be together. That is the way it is supposed to be.

But I would be remiss if I didn’t give you just one small dose of reality from an old married woman – marriage is ALL THE TIME and FOR ALL TIME, and there will be moments when ALL THE TIME is just TOO MUCH TIME.

A Happily Married Woman

I proudly state that I am happily married – VERY happily married. My husband and I started dating in High School and married our second year of college. Together, we raised five children, and claim 28 years of wedded bliss. When he walks into the room, I still get all warm and fuzzy, just like when we were newlyweds.

At least, I do most of the time.

Sometimes, I feel like strangling him.

Yes, it is true. My husband and I suffer from being human. We get on each other’s nerves, and there are times we need our own space. The stresses that arise from needy children, broken-down cars, lack of money, and out of control hormones can sometimes make it seem like our life together is miserable.

But, it’s really not.

Over the years, I sought to learn to love him as Christ does. Some of the time I’m pretty bad at it and it hasn’t been easy, Just to be fair, I’m pretty sure he thinks the same things about me. But the reality is this: in order for your marriage to be happy, you must find a way to love your husband selflessly. This rule applies to EVERY marriage. If Christlike love is not present, your marriage will fail.

Love Him Like Christ Loves Him

“For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

marriageLet’s take a closer look at this verse. It says that Christ gave up everything for us, while we were being “ungodly.” He didn’t ask us to change first, or insist that we do something to earn His love. He gave it to us while we were “sinners.” He “commendeth his love toward us.” In other words, He proved it when we didn’t deserve it.

Love requires action. It requires you to make a conscious decision to give your husband your regard, even when it’s not merited. This means that you might have to swallow some irritation or turn a cheek or two. Giving him this gift is harder than buying a present or sending him off for a night with his buddies.

Learning to let go of petty irritations is the hardest requirement of being a loving wife.

Consider the Bible’s Love Chapter – 1 Corinthians 13

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind… envieth not…vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Note: We realize that some marriages are far off track. If you feel you have reached that point, we suggest you seek the help of your Pastor in finding a good Christian counselor.

Marriage Counseling 101

by K Schmutzler

Check out our upcoming series of articles, sharing some of the things I learned over the past three decades on how to make a marriage work. I hope they bless those out there who might be struggling.

Prince Charming: Fantasy or Reality?  Read it Now!

Killing the Evil Witch

The Royal Wedding

Kissing the Prince

Turning Your Prince into a King

When the King Acts Like a Peasant

Going to War

Securing the Kingdom

Future Dynasties